Aνέκδοτα και όχι μόνο...

[RootX]

[RootX]

:devil:

[RootX]

Ήταν οι αγώνες των Special Olympics για το άθλημα της κολύμβησης.

Ανεβαίνουν τα άτομα με ειδικές ανάγκες επάνω στους βατήρες και περνάει ο κριτής για να τους ελέγξει.

Βλέπει τον πρώτο χωρίς πόδια!!! Και του λέει:

- Εσύ παλικάρι μου, πως θα κολυμπήσεις χωρίς πόδια, μπορείς;

- Εγώ έχω πολύ δυνατά χέρια και θα κολυμπήσω μόνο με αυτά!!!!!

Βλέπει τον δεύτερο αθλητή, και δεν έχει χέρια!!!

- Εσύ παιδί μου, πως θα κολυμπήσεις χωρίς χέρια, μπορείς;

- Εγώ έχω πάρα πολύ δυνατά πόδια, και θα κολυμπήσω μόνο με αυτά!!!!!

Βλέπει και τον τελευταίο, ο οποίος δεν έχει ούτε χέρια ούτε πόδια.

Εσύ παιδί μου, θα μπορέσεις να αγωνιστείς;

Εγώ μπορεί να μην έχω ούτε χέρια ούτε πόδια, αλλά έχω μεγάλα αυτιά και κουνώντας τα μπορώ να κολυμπάω πολύ γρήγορα!!!!

Τον αφήνει ο κριτής να αγωνιστεί και μετά από λίγο σφυρίζει για την έναρξη του αγώνα. Μόλις πέφτουνε όλοι στο νερό αρχίζουν να κολυμπάνε, αλλά στον τελευταίο διάδρομο, ο αθλητής που κολυμπούσε με τα αυτιά, αρχίζει να πνίγεται. Τρέχει ένας με μία απόχη, τον τσακώνει και τον βγάζει έξω. Τότε βάζει μία φωνή ο αθλητής με τα μεγάλα αυτιά και λέει:

- Καλά ρε, ποιός μα**κας μου φόρεσε σκουφάκι ;;;;;;

[ΓιαγκΤ]

Διαφήμιση

[ΓιαγκΤ]

Είστε άσχημος ;;;

Είστε παχύς ;;;

Οι γυναίκες λένε ότι βρωμάτε;;;

Οι γυναίκες δεν σας κοιτούν στο δρόμο;;;

Πάντα αποτυγχάνετε στη κατάκτηση μιας γυναίκας;;;

Μην απελπίζεστε...

Τώρα υπάρχει το νέο μέικ απ για άνδρες!!!

Μ αυτό, ακόμα κι πιο δύσκολες γυναίκες δεν θα μπορούν ν αντισταθούν στη γοητεία σας...

Μέικ απ για άνδρες

Ένα μοναδικό προϊόν !!!

Νέο!!!

Η τελευταία λέξη στα προϊόντα ανδρικής περιποίησης !!!

Πωλείται τώρα !!!

Μόνο στα καλύτερα καταστήματα.

[antonisk7]

- Μπαμπά, οι ferrari δεν ειναι κάτι αυτοκίνητα κόκκινα με ένα άλογο ?

- Ναι παιδί μου, γιατί ?

- Νομίζω ότι είδα μία στο δρόμο.

[antonisk7]

!

[DJD]

:alien:

[antonisk7]

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[kots]

Αρχική απάντηση από ΓιαγκΤ [21-11-2003 και 10:07]

άλλο

Aυτή η φώτο είναι από κατερίνη ε?

[ΓιαγκΤ]

Αρχική απάντηση από kots [22-11-2003 και 10:10]

Aυτή η φώτο είναι από κατερίνη ε?

Δεν ξέρω. Έχω ένα φίλο που μου στέλνει διάφορα παράξενα. Είναι μια από τις 12 ταμπέλες που μου έστειλε.

[antonisk7]

Murphys Laws in sex

1.The more beautiful the woman is who loves you, the easier it is to leave her with no hard feelings.

2.Nothing improves with age.

3.No matter how many times you've had it, if it's offered take it, because it'll never be quite the same again.

4.Sex has no calories.

5.Sex takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.

6.There is no remedy for sex but more sex.

7.Sex appeal is 50% what you've got and 50% what people think you've got.

8.No sex with anyone in the same office.

9.Sex is like snow; you never know how many inches you are going to get or how long it is going to last.

10.A man in the house is worth two in the street.

11.If you get them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow.

12.Virginity can be cured.

13.When a man's wife learns to understand him, she usually stops listening to him.

14.Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.

15.The qualities that most attract a woman to a man are usually the same ones she can't stand years later.

16.Sex is dirty only if it's done right.

17.It is always the wrong time of month.

18.The best way to hold a man is in your arms.

19.When the lights are out, all women are beautiful.

20.Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you won't either.

21.Sow your wild oats on Saturday night - Then on Sunday pray for crop failure.

22.The younger the better.

23.The game of love is never called off on account of darkness.

24.It was not the apple on the tree but the pair on the ground that caused the trouble in the garden.

25.Sex discriminates against the shy and the ugly.

26.Before you find your handsome prince, you've got to kiss a lot of frogs.

27.There may be some things better than sex, and some things worse than sex. But there is nothing exactly like it.

28.Love your neighbor, but don't get caught.

29.Love is a hole in the heart.

30.If the effort that went in research on the female bosom had gone into our space program, we would now be running hot-dog stands on the moon.

31.Love is a matter of chemistry, sex is a matter of physics.

32.Do it only with the best.

33.Sex is a three-letter word which needs some old-fashioned four-letter words to convey its full meaning.

34.One good turn gets most of the blankets.

35.You cannot produce a baby in one month by impregnating nine women.

36.Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

37.It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

38.Thou shalt not commit adultery.....unless in the mood.

39.Never lie down with a woman who's got more troubles than you.

40.Abstain from wine, women, and song; mostly song.

41.Never argue with a women when she's tired -- or rested.

42.A woman never forgets the men she could have had; a man, the women he couldn't.

43.What matters is not the length of the wand, but the magic in the stick.

44.It is better to be looked over than overlooked.

45.Never say no.

46.A man can be happy with any woman as long as he doesn't love her.

47.Folks playing leapfrog must complete all jumps.

48.Beauty is skin deep; ugly goes right to the bone.

49.Never stand between a fire hydrant and a dog.

50.A man is only a man, but a good bicycle is a ride.

51.Love comes in spurts.

52.The world does not revolve on an axis.

53.Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation; the other eight are unimportant.

54.Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.

55.Don't do it if you can't keep it up.

56.There is no difference between a wise man and a fool when they fall in love.

57.Never go to bed mad, stay up and fight.

58.Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.

59."This won't hurt, I promise."

[antonisk7]

!!

[antonisk7]

Bill Gates Faces God

"Well, Bill," said God, "I'm really confused on this one. I'm not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell! After all, you helped society enormously by putting a computer in almost every home in the world and yet you created that ghastly Windows. I'm going to do something I've never done before. I'm going to let you decide where you want to go!"

Mr.Gates replied, "Well, thanks, Lord. What's the difference between the two?"

God said, "You can take a peek at both places briefly if it will help you decide. Shall we look at Hell first?" "Sure!" said Bill. "Let's go!" Bill was amazed! He saw a clean, white sandy beach with clear waters.There were thousands of beautiful women running around, playing in the water, laughing and frolicking about. The sun was shining and the temperature was just perfect! Bill said, "This is great! If this is Hell, I can't wait to see Heaven!"

To which God replied, "Let's go!" and off they went. Bill saw puffy white clouds in a beautiful blue sky with angels drifting about playing harps and singing. It was nice, but surely not as enticing as Hell.

Mr.Gates thought for only a brief moment and rendered his decision.

"God, I do believe I would like to go to Hell." "As you desire," said God.

Two weeks later, God decided to check up on the late billionaire to see how things were going. He found Bill shackled to a wall, screaming among the hot flames in a dark cave. He was being burned and tortured by demons.

"How ya doin', Bill?" asked God. Bill responded with anguish and despair. "This is awful! This is not what I expected at all! What happened to the beach and the beautiful women playing in the water?" "Oh, THAT!" said God. "That was the screen saver"